Ruminations of a Rocket Scientist
by MoaningMomoMormon
Summary: Just my imaginings of the inner working's of Fitz's mind... somewhat of a companion to A Bio-Chemist's Brain Activity
1. At the End of the Day

At the End of the Day

**A/N I couldn't resist, delving into Fitz's mind, especially after 1x08, but I figured I should start with this… more will come. Oh and if you like, I have a fic about Jemma (A Bio-Chemist's Brain Activity).**

"Don't do anything rash while I'm gone, like jump out of an airplane." Fitz regretted the words the moment they left his mouth. He'd intended to play it off like a joke, making light of what she'd done, like they always did when the danger was over. But it hadn't come out like a joke… how could it, when he meant every word.

"Well, you'll be careful?" Fitz felt a tingle where her hand touched is, but he tried to ignore it. He didn't understand why her touch was all of a sudden affecting him this way. Her caution seemed ridiculous, of course he'd be careful, when had he ever _not_ been careful. He wasn't the one who'd jumped out of the bloody plane. He pulled his hand away.

"Yeah, I've handled worse." _Much worse. _ He was almost positive that nothing could possibly ever be half as terrible as watching Jemma falling. He still had nightmares about it.

"Oh, I almost forgot, I made you this," Fitz rolled his eyes, wondering what coddling device Jemma had devised to protect, poor helpless Fitz in the field. "…your favorite sandwich. Prosciutto and buffalo mozzarella." Not what he expected

"With your home made pesto aioli?" In his excitement about the sandwich, Fitz was able to forget about how he felt… differently… about Jemma.

"Just a hint" She let out a soft chuckle. And Fitz realized they'd get through this. Whatever was happening, they'd work through it, because at the end of the day, they'd always be FitzSimmons.


	2. No Explanation Necessary

No Explanation Necessary

**A/N Ack, I just adored this scene… though the this episode could have stood for more FitzSimmons… anywho, hope you like my thoughts on Fitz's thoughts**

"What are you doing?" Ward whirled on Jemma, and Fitz's jumped in surprise. He knew Ward was on edge, but he'd never seen Ward like this… and they'd been trapped behind enemy lines, hostiles closing in, and no exit strategy.

"Your heart rate's rising." Jemma explained, and Fitz was amazed that she was able to keep her cool…though most of what Jemma did amazed him, "Adrenaline's spiking. You need to calm down, not get worked up." Ward turned away, and Fitz watched as Sky approached him, not the strategy Fitz would have gone with, but to each his own… or her own. Despite Ward's agitated condition, he was surprise when his voice rose and he turned on Sky.

"Right. To talk. Because that's what you do—talk… and talk. Don't you ever get tired of hearing your own voice?!" Fitz knew this wasn't his friend, he walked up to him and put his hand on Ward's shoulder

"Ward, Stop." He said, hoping to help Ward see what he was doing, calm him down a bit. Ward would never treat any of them like this under normal circumstances. He was shocked when Ward shoved him off and raised his fist… Fitz briefly wondered if Ward would actually hit him when a familiar voice cut in.

"Well! This makes more sense." Fitz could hear the anxiety in Simmons voice, and though a part of him wanted to be bitter that she'd felt the need to protect him, he couldn't help but be grateful, "Ward, what you're experiencing, this feeling—It's Chemistry."

"Hope so." Sky interjected resentfully, and Fitz couldn't help but share her sentiments.

"Yeah, spikes in his adrenocorticotropic hormone. It's like those stories you hear when a mother is able to lift a car to save her baby. An adrenaline surge can create a massive—"

"Stop talking! Just fix it!" Fitz couldn't believe Ward had cut Jemma off like that, she was helping him for pete's sake.

"I wish I could." She was as sweet and calm as ever, "We can relieve some of the symptoms. I'm going to give you 10cc of benzodiazepine."

"Chill pill. Good idea." Sky added.

"A sedative? Not gonna happen." Ward objected and Fitz couldn't hold it in.

"Yeah, well, be reasonable. Look how you're behaving." He glanced up briefly at Ward, and as Ward approached him Fitz flashed back to the numerous bully's he'd encountered over the years…

"And if I'm sedated and we cross paths with those juiced freaks, the ones who flip cars and smash people up, are you gonna take them on?" Fitz wanted to revert to his fall back, head down and out of the way. But he wasn't going to take it. Not from Ward. He looked him in the eye, it may not have been the most defiant stare, but Fitz wasn't going to back down… not when Ward was so out of line. "Keep us safe? Or am I gonna have save Simmons" Fitz felt his head drop, almost involuntarily. How could he—why would he— "… again." Ward's finger in his chest felt like acid. His skin was burning, from anger or fear he wasn't sure. Ward said he knew… knew that Fitz would have jumped out of the plane for Jemma… had he meant it. Or had he just told him to make him feel better… is that what everyone did, tell him what he wanted to hear to keep him happy. Coddling poor, pathetic Fitz.

"That was just a biochemical reaction. He didn't mean all that." Jemma didn't sound entirely convinced… was it because she knew the truth of Ward's words?

"No, I know." Sky muttered.

"No explanation necessary." Fitz forced the words out. The emotional pain Ward had inflicted on him was much worse than any physical pain that Fitz had ever experienced… and Fitz could only conclude that it was because it was true. He was no hero… heck, he wasn't even useful. He couldn't even protect his oldest and best friend…no explanation necessary… because Ward had explained it all… very clearly.


End file.
